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Monica Edwards's avatar

I used to be carefree, too. I also used to smoke too much and drink too much and lo-and-behold I aquired a low-grade and persistent anxiety that became so normal I didn't even know it was there until I met a guy who had to amputate a few fingers because of smoking-related nerve damage and all of a sudden that anxiety became all I noticed and of course it still took me a while to quit smoking and even longer to quit drinking, but it was like there was a switch, and once it was turned on I realized that there was so much risk/death everywhere (never mind what I was doing to myself, what with the smoking and drinking), and finding my way out of that fear and anxiety, well, I suppose what I am saying is that yes, knives-boots-ice-running, and thank god for books and pen and paper and decaf Americano's and walks in the arboretum with my wife and the ability to pick up a guitar and sing myself a lullaby.

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Kate's avatar

Rita, I love this post so very much. I appreciate that you are willing to grow and change and face hard things and cheer us on for doing the same. I love your resiliency in the face of challenges. I love how you spin a metaphor. The idea of digging into the thing we can with confidence, while slowly (re)building our skills (or not, as wisdom and circumstances allow) resonates deeply is such a life lesson. And one I needed this week.

XOXO.

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