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Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

Ah, here you are. You've been on my mind, Rita. This is lovely, and honest, and thank you.

I am sorry to read of the hard times, glad of the good. "Either way, the work before us is the same." I've been grappling with how to be with all that breaks my heart, how to keep going. I always find beauty when I go looking for it, but there is so much sadness.

Has that little girl responded to your letter? I feel certain she read it and was delighted to receive it. If she sends a note in reply, I hope you'll let us know.

A woman and friend I work with recently shared this. I'm finding it helpful. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-are-the-great-turning/id1740825892

Hugs, friend, for what lies ahead.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

Hi Elizabeth 💜 Yes, I am here. And glad to find you here, too. I've been cocooned away, scribbling words, but am feeling ready to start poking my head out again. I'm missing my writing people. Thank you so much for the link; I'll check it out soon. I am sorry to hear that you are grappling, too--but pretty much every caring, thinking, aware person I know is. In an earlier version of the exercise I shared, I drew heavily upon one of my favorite William Stafford poems, "A Ritual to Read to Each Other." (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/58264/a-ritual-to-read-to-each-other) As he tells us, "it is important for awake people to be awake." Let's keep keeping each other company in the sleeplessness. (Oh, and I don't know about the little girl. She was always a quiet one.)

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Emily Levin's avatar

"I am writing because they never taught me how to hold that girl holy. But I am not trying to worship her—I am trying to resurrect her. Because salvation, I am told, is the reward of a life lived in truth."

Wow, Rita. This blossomed into its own tree of life.

I am thinking of you often every day, friend, and hoping you know you are not walking a changed path alone. Grateful for your words and way of moving forward in this world.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

Thank you so much, Emily. I need to write a process note in our binder; focusing super-closely on the source text was mind-blowing. And a source of great comfort. Thank you so much for being with me on our journeys.

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Emily Levin's avatar

❤️

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Sue Ferrera's avatar

Lovely, as usual, Rita. It's good to have you here in this new year, and to read what your heart wants to share.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

Thank you, Sue. Glad to be back.

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Kari's avatar

"I am writing because they never taught me how to hold that girl holy. But I am not trying to worship her—I am trying to resurrect her. Because salvation, I am told, is the reward of a life lived in truth." 🖤

I’m thinking of you as we head into this month. I feel so heavy right now, but I’m deeply grateful for you and your words here.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

I'm sorry for the heaviness, and so glad we can help each other carry it. 🖤🖤🖤

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Maureen Clifford's avatar

Your writing is like fine wine.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

Aw, Maureen. Thank you. I felt a bit of my old poet self come out with this one.

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Maureen Clifford's avatar

It shows, Lady. 🫶🏻

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Monica Edwards's avatar

Oh that ending. So so good, Rita. I’ve been writing about befores and after too, without really thinking about it that’s at. Coming out. Sobriety. Mastectomy. Interesting. Keep on writing into it! 🤗

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

Thank you, Monica. Those are really big befores and afters. I think writing into it is never much of a choice for me 🙂

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Ren Powell's avatar

Before shame. Yes. That's a painful crossing over, painful to examine looking back. Thank you for this.

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Tracey Edelist, PhD's avatar

Ahhh, Rita, I love what you've done with this piece! You got right to the root of things in the most powerful way. I love these sentences, "Remember how the trees’ ridged roots rose, mountainous, above valleys of hard-packed dirt, marking territories for the little poodles and retrievers and terriers who ran and loved and warred completely under your dominion?" and "an intrepid little god making a world beneath weeping sap."

There is so much here told through the loss of childhood innocence. I wonder more about the after, about what that girl did to feel in control once the kingdom she ruled was lost. Thinking of you and grateful for your writing. xoxo

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

That girl did nothing healthy, I'm afraid. Thank you for your encouragement and kindness. I'm grateful for you and your writing, too.

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Tracey Edelist, PhD's avatar

I'm sorry to hear that. can relate.

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