Another lovely article Rita - it's so interesting to read these snippets of life. I'm absolutely with you about music and it's role being seen and belonging.
Thank you. This was a nice one to work on. I've never thought of myself as being much of a music person--it wasn't something that was big in my house growing up, and I'm not musical at all--but I've realized that the songs that are meaningful to me are much like poems.
Rita, this is a gem! I took a lot longer than you to let go of the detritus from my religious upbringing. That's not to say I don't have appreciation for the ways it can support some people, or that I don't feel anything now for the ritual and grace of certain parts of it. In the long run, though, it just felt too narrow for my wandering mind to accept. As if The Maker cares whether you have a strawberry on your dress or not! (You were adorable, but I totally felt the squirm of being the odd one out there.) I look forward to listening to your playlist sometime soon. I scanned the list of songs and did a mental "yep" with each one. My Spotify Daily Mixes are already peppered with most of them. Thanks for taking the time to put that together. A labor of love - which is the whole point.
I am pretty sure my mom said something very much along the lines of "no one is going to care about that strawberry"! Which would, of course, include God. :-) And I just have to say, the girl I most love looking at in this photo is the one in the navy blue dress, who is just beaming. I wanted to be like that girl. I still want to be like that girl! But we are who we are, aren't we? I like the idea that my inability to have certain kinds of faith might be a wandering mind.
I did not even SEE the girl in navy (too busy looking at adorable you)! Isn't she just the picture of confidence?! I hope she stayed that way her whole life. People like that are who I aspire to grow up to become. 😅
I adore the group photo. Not growing up Catholic I've never seen one like it, but do feel it's a little wacko for little girls to dress up like little brides. However not my place to opine on that I suppose.
I know that when we got married in a Lutheran church we could only have music that was considered sacred, as in traditional from the hymnals, none of that stuff like you're talking about here. Times change as do we, so I'm with you if a song seems sacred to you, regardless of the source, it is sacred.
So sorry for the delayed response--last week was not my best. And I am with you: It IS wacko to dress little girls up like brides. Also, I think it is absolutely your place to opine on that. I am so tired of religion being an area that gets a pass, so tired of the idea that what people do/believe in the name of religion cannot be commented on by those outside of it. So many egregious things have been done/are being done in the name of religion, but we can't address it directly because then we're accused of engaging in a "war" on believers. OK, I am now remembering why I didn't comment right away--trying to give myself some time to see if my thoughts would be more tempered--but clearly time hasn't made much difference.
I love this. I also love the girl in the blue dress in the middle. I am that girl. I have thoughts about religion. They're not "good." It could be because my dad received a card from a family member telling him that they hope he is good with the lord before he dies, just before he was admitted to the hospital.
Oh, Kari. My first thought is, "Fuck that family member," which I know is not a "good" thought. And it's not my only thought. I also think: That person is expressing care in the ways they know how to (probably. maybe.) And: That person is maybe expressing their own pain or fear. But honestly, the first thought is the strongest. Because even if it feels like an expression of care, it is NOT caring. And even if someone/something has damaged them (like, maybe, being in a shaming/punitive church), that doesn't make it OK to say something hurtful to people who are hurting. All of which is why I have thoughts about religion, too.
I love that you are the girl in the blue dress. I can totally see that in you.
After our chat on writing in the dark, I came over here and found your great posts. I was drawn to this one and love the story about your first communion dress. And then I found a playlist that went along. Listening now. I love how Jeannine's community introduces me to other writers and kindred spirits. I look forward to reading your posts here.
Thank you for coming over and for these kind words! (Sorry for the long delay in responding. A lot going on the past week.) I also love how joining Jeannine's community has introduced me to others. My biggest challenge is that I don't have enough time to read/connect with all those I would like to.
Hello in there by John Prine
Cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
Oh, John Prine ❤️ Can't believe I didn't get one of his in my playlist. Good thing it's so easy to add songs to it. Thank you.
Another lovely article Rita - it's so interesting to read these snippets of life. I'm absolutely with you about music and it's role being seen and belonging.
Thank you. This was a nice one to work on. I've never thought of myself as being much of a music person--it wasn't something that was big in my house growing up, and I'm not musical at all--but I've realized that the songs that are meaningful to me are much like poems.
Rita, this is a gem! I took a lot longer than you to let go of the detritus from my religious upbringing. That's not to say I don't have appreciation for the ways it can support some people, or that I don't feel anything now for the ritual and grace of certain parts of it. In the long run, though, it just felt too narrow for my wandering mind to accept. As if The Maker cares whether you have a strawberry on your dress or not! (You were adorable, but I totally felt the squirm of being the odd one out there.) I look forward to listening to your playlist sometime soon. I scanned the list of songs and did a mental "yep" with each one. My Spotify Daily Mixes are already peppered with most of them. Thanks for taking the time to put that together. A labor of love - which is the whole point.
I am pretty sure my mom said something very much along the lines of "no one is going to care about that strawberry"! Which would, of course, include God. :-) And I just have to say, the girl I most love looking at in this photo is the one in the navy blue dress, who is just beaming. I wanted to be like that girl. I still want to be like that girl! But we are who we are, aren't we? I like the idea that my inability to have certain kinds of faith might be a wandering mind.
Thank you for such a thoughtful and kind comment.
I did not even SEE the girl in navy (too busy looking at adorable you)! Isn't she just the picture of confidence?! I hope she stayed that way her whole life. People like that are who I aspire to grow up to become. 😅
I can't wait to listen to this, thank you for creating it. From one recovering Catholic to another!
I adore the group photo. Not growing up Catholic I've never seen one like it, but do feel it's a little wacko for little girls to dress up like little brides. However not my place to opine on that I suppose.
I know that when we got married in a Lutheran church we could only have music that was considered sacred, as in traditional from the hymnals, none of that stuff like you're talking about here. Times change as do we, so I'm with you if a song seems sacred to you, regardless of the source, it is sacred.
So sorry for the delayed response--last week was not my best. And I am with you: It IS wacko to dress little girls up like brides. Also, I think it is absolutely your place to opine on that. I am so tired of religion being an area that gets a pass, so tired of the idea that what people do/believe in the name of religion cannot be commented on by those outside of it. So many egregious things have been done/are being done in the name of religion, but we can't address it directly because then we're accused of engaging in a "war" on believers. OK, I am now remembering why I didn't comment right away--trying to give myself some time to see if my thoughts would be more tempered--but clearly time hasn't made much difference.
I love this. I also love the girl in the blue dress in the middle. I am that girl. I have thoughts about religion. They're not "good." It could be because my dad received a card from a family member telling him that they hope he is good with the lord before he dies, just before he was admitted to the hospital.
Oh, Kari. My first thought is, "Fuck that family member," which I know is not a "good" thought. And it's not my only thought. I also think: That person is expressing care in the ways they know how to (probably. maybe.) And: That person is maybe expressing their own pain or fear. But honestly, the first thought is the strongest. Because even if it feels like an expression of care, it is NOT caring. And even if someone/something has damaged them (like, maybe, being in a shaming/punitive church), that doesn't make it OK to say something hurtful to people who are hurting. All of which is why I have thoughts about religion, too.
I love that you are the girl in the blue dress. I can totally see that in you.
After our chat on writing in the dark, I came over here and found your great posts. I was drawn to this one and love the story about your first communion dress. And then I found a playlist that went along. Listening now. I love how Jeannine's community introduces me to other writers and kindred spirits. I look forward to reading your posts here.
Thank you for coming over and for these kind words! (Sorry for the long delay in responding. A lot going on the past week.) I also love how joining Jeannine's community has introduced me to others. My biggest challenge is that I don't have enough time to read/connect with all those I would like to.