Oh big big big hugs, Rita!!! And all the Louisiana lagniappe. You’d be doing this former Mississippi girl a favor if over the course of the month you can find your way to Middendorf’s for some thin catfish! And elsewhere for chickory coffee, gumbo with shell fish that hates me as much as gluten, and andouille, and red beans done right. Oh, and a roast beef po’boy, and why not? A fried shrimp one too. And while you are at it, listen to those tree frogs and crickets and maybe even some zydeco?? ( am I distracting you yet?)
Living small by embracing strange containers each new terrifying but mostly exhilirating new work day, and by relishing each hot bath. My traveler came home more himself which reminded me letting them leave us sometimes the biggest gift we can give them. Hugs . And alllll the mosquito spray and that sense of humor- you may need it. I hope to read all about it when you get back.
Slidell is about 3 hours east of us--we're in the heart of Cajun country (apparently). So, I don't think I'll make it to Middendorf's, but I will get to Poche's for plate lunch and Old Tyme Grocery for a shrimp po'boy. And might have to have a drive-through dacquiri or two. :-) When I was talking earlier this week with my husband about the things I wanted to do here, all of them were places I wanted to eat!
I didn't "know" you last summer, when we spent 6 weeks renovating a house built sometime before the 1920's (probably?), during the hottest summer on record. THAT was an experience! This one is going to be much more restorative. I am so looking forward to getting into some new routines in the fall, which will include writing regularly for School.
Oh, Rita -- tender, tearful mama heart hugs to you, but also congratulations to her for finally being able to start the life of her dreams with her husband!
We've had a chat or two about this behind the Substack scenes, so you know I'm empathetic. With the caveat that it's probably too soon, my wish for you is that you and your daughter can find a rhythm of connection that takes the sting out of the separation. That has happened for me with my far away daughters. FaceTime is magical, but only one of them prefers to use it. The other is more of the phone call type, and she'll also occasionally write a letter! It's not the same - not by a long shot - but it's more than enough to keep me out of the pit of despair.
I hope the time in Louisiana is deeply restorative. I must have been channeling you somehow as I made a big pot of gumbo yesterday! Summer, for me, is so much about growing and eating food. I grab minutes whenever I can to water everything (it's been so cursed hot and dry here!), to appreciate the critters and chat with my plants. And then I have to figure out what to DO with all the harvests! We'll travel north to see his mom a week from now, but that will be our only summer vacation this year. Small is just fine by me!
Oh, thank you! I know you know. This is not our first separation rodeo; I know we'll be fine. But it's going to take me a bit to get there this time. I sure appreciate the empathy, encouragement, and tips from those who've also been there.
It has also been cursed hot where we live this summer, and it feels like all I've done is water! We had success this year with two new crops--beets and cucumbers. Oh, and carrots, too. (Although many of them came out with 2 intertwined legs. What's up with that?) We ate A LOT of beets for more than two weeks. I love beets, but...yeah, I don't know what to do with all the stuff. Next year, our big goal is to learn how to plant in stages, so it doesn't all reach maturity at the same time. I love our small garden, and I love learning new things with it each year.
I can imagine how your emotions are on a rollercoaster at the moment. So many changes outside of your control, but impacting you nonetheless. Your daughter is beautiful, and not just because I have that pair of Birks, too. As for you parents and the issues that come with them aging, my only suggestion is "sooner is better than later" when it comes to talking about things, making changes, adapting. Enjoy your time in Louisiana, a change of scenery will do you good.
Thank you, Ally. My daughter (like you, apparently) has great style. :-) So many changes happening, yes, and you are so right about the change of scenery. It's SO different from home here. And it's good to exhale. Have realized I've been holding my breath all summer. Breathing is good.
This summer has been a doozy, hasn't it? THA FUDGE. Do you know what has been saving my soul as of late? Real Housewives of New Jersey. Not poetry, not therapy, not writing, not tea. Reality TV. I'm a homebody too, and thank goodness for my home and television.
Also, thank goodness to Thich Nhat Hanh (may he rest in peace) who taught me to live in the present moment as much as possible. It sounds as though you've done a lot of that, too. ❤️
I have not tried any of the Real Housewives. I've never watched a single episode. Now, I think I will have to remedy that. Isn't being a homebody just the best? In the past two weeks I've watched some truly cheesy movies--one starring Brooke Shields and the other starring Harry Connick Jr. They were so bad they were very, very good in a comfort food kinda way. Wish we could watch these things together. 💚
Oh my goodness, Rita, crying all the way through this. We are cut from the same cloth. And I too have been crying my way through this summer, big tears that seem to be waiting for me most days, if I allow them. My daughter moved to the east coast a few years ago. She was just here for a visit, which was far too short. What I love that you have focused on here, is the choice that I'd make over and over again that love and connection are worth any amount of tears. We will both find our way, Rita. We just don't see the path yet. 💕
Thank you for sharing all my big feelings with me, Sue. They really do pass through me. I spent so many years never showing my emotions, and now I can't control them at all. They just come out, and then pass by. Maybe it's an aging thing--there are so many things I can no longer control the way I once did! I think we are both on that path already. We'll get there.
And for what it's worth, my belief is that showing emotion is the goal, using our God-given abilities to release pain and stress. The opposite fosters disease. It's not so much that you've aged. It's that you've learned to respect and nurture your body and your mind.
Oh big big big hugs, Rita!!! And all the Louisiana lagniappe. You’d be doing this former Mississippi girl a favor if over the course of the month you can find your way to Middendorf’s for some thin catfish! And elsewhere for chickory coffee, gumbo with shell fish that hates me as much as gluten, and andouille, and red beans done right. Oh, and a roast beef po’boy, and why not? A fried shrimp one too. And while you are at it, listen to those tree frogs and crickets and maybe even some zydeco?? ( am I distracting you yet?)
Living small by embracing strange containers each new terrifying but mostly exhilirating new work day, and by relishing each hot bath. My traveler came home more himself which reminded me letting them leave us sometimes the biggest gift we can give them. Hugs . And alllll the mosquito spray and that sense of humor- you may need it. I hope to read all about it when you get back.
Slidell is about 3 hours east of us--we're in the heart of Cajun country (apparently). So, I don't think I'll make it to Middendorf's, but I will get to Poche's for plate lunch and Old Tyme Grocery for a shrimp po'boy. And might have to have a drive-through dacquiri or two. :-) When I was talking earlier this week with my husband about the things I wanted to do here, all of them were places I wanted to eat!
I didn't "know" you last summer, when we spent 6 weeks renovating a house built sometime before the 1920's (probably?), during the hottest summer on record. THAT was an experience! This one is going to be much more restorative. I am so looking forward to getting into some new routines in the fall, which will include writing regularly for School.
Sounds wonderful!! Plate lunch! Yesssss. Can’t wait to write with you in SCHOOL. Wishing you restorative time.
Oh, Rita -- tender, tearful mama heart hugs to you, but also congratulations to her for finally being able to start the life of her dreams with her husband!
We've had a chat or two about this behind the Substack scenes, so you know I'm empathetic. With the caveat that it's probably too soon, my wish for you is that you and your daughter can find a rhythm of connection that takes the sting out of the separation. That has happened for me with my far away daughters. FaceTime is magical, but only one of them prefers to use it. The other is more of the phone call type, and she'll also occasionally write a letter! It's not the same - not by a long shot - but it's more than enough to keep me out of the pit of despair.
I hope the time in Louisiana is deeply restorative. I must have been channeling you somehow as I made a big pot of gumbo yesterday! Summer, for me, is so much about growing and eating food. I grab minutes whenever I can to water everything (it's been so cursed hot and dry here!), to appreciate the critters and chat with my plants. And then I have to figure out what to DO with all the harvests! We'll travel north to see his mom a week from now, but that will be our only summer vacation this year. Small is just fine by me!
Oh, thank you! I know you know. This is not our first separation rodeo; I know we'll be fine. But it's going to take me a bit to get there this time. I sure appreciate the empathy, encouragement, and tips from those who've also been there.
It has also been cursed hot where we live this summer, and it feels like all I've done is water! We had success this year with two new crops--beets and cucumbers. Oh, and carrots, too. (Although many of them came out with 2 intertwined legs. What's up with that?) We ate A LOT of beets for more than two weeks. I love beets, but...yeah, I don't know what to do with all the stuff. Next year, our big goal is to learn how to plant in stages, so it doesn't all reach maturity at the same time. I love our small garden, and I love learning new things with it each year.
I can imagine how your emotions are on a rollercoaster at the moment. So many changes outside of your control, but impacting you nonetheless. Your daughter is beautiful, and not just because I have that pair of Birks, too. As for you parents and the issues that come with them aging, my only suggestion is "sooner is better than later" when it comes to talking about things, making changes, adapting. Enjoy your time in Louisiana, a change of scenery will do you good.
Thank you, Ally. My daughter (like you, apparently) has great style. :-) So many changes happening, yes, and you are so right about the change of scenery. It's SO different from home here. And it's good to exhale. Have realized I've been holding my breath all summer. Breathing is good.
Oh, your sweet girl. Love to you, sweet friend.
This summer has been a doozy, hasn't it? THA FUDGE. Do you know what has been saving my soul as of late? Real Housewives of New Jersey. Not poetry, not therapy, not writing, not tea. Reality TV. I'm a homebody too, and thank goodness for my home and television.
Also, thank goodness to Thich Nhat Hanh (may he rest in peace) who taught me to live in the present moment as much as possible. It sounds as though you've done a lot of that, too. ❤️
I have not tried any of the Real Housewives. I've never watched a single episode. Now, I think I will have to remedy that. Isn't being a homebody just the best? In the past two weeks I've watched some truly cheesy movies--one starring Brooke Shields and the other starring Harry Connick Jr. They were so bad they were very, very good in a comfort food kinda way. Wish we could watch these things together. 💚
Oh my goodness, Rita, crying all the way through this. We are cut from the same cloth. And I too have been crying my way through this summer, big tears that seem to be waiting for me most days, if I allow them. My daughter moved to the east coast a few years ago. She was just here for a visit, which was far too short. What I love that you have focused on here, is the choice that I'd make over and over again that love and connection are worth any amount of tears. We will both find our way, Rita. We just don't see the path yet. 💕
Thank you for sharing all my big feelings with me, Sue. They really do pass through me. I spent so many years never showing my emotions, and now I can't control them at all. They just come out, and then pass by. Maybe it's an aging thing--there are so many things I can no longer control the way I once did! I think we are both on that path already. We'll get there.
Yes, we will.
And for what it's worth, my belief is that showing emotion is the goal, using our God-given abilities to release pain and stress. The opposite fosters disease. It's not so much that you've aged. It's that you've learned to respect and nurture your body and your mind.
I agree! That's exactly how I see it.