What a balm for the day, Rita. I am also mourning but also nursing the smart of having been manipulated- not only have our political rivals played the long game, they’ve figured out how to play us against ourselves, use our rule following, empathy, and outrage as weapons that weaken us as their rivals. But, they still make us the humans I want to live among. And if we can focus on those one to one interactions you describe we may remember that is a strength, not a weakness.
I hope we never lose our empathy and outrage, for all of us. I'm working on focusing both on the right things. I have room for growth (always), and I'm wondering right now how I might look back on this post 6 years from now and cringe at what I'm not understanding or seeing. But yes, I think how we relate to and connect with each other one-to-one is so important. I think it's a kind of power available to all of us.
I agree that things will be getting worse as we get closer to the election and even after it regardless of who wins. I'm exhausted just wondering how I could possibly know anyone who'd vote for authoritarianism, yet I realize that I know these people personally and am stuck with them. When politics shift from rational thought to emotional opinions then there's no way for me to talk with, let alone influence, people who do what they *feel* is right. It's distressing, to say the least.
I think events of the past week show us that the election isn't going to be--can't be--a cure-all. AND STILL, one choice is sure to be so much more damaging, to so many people, than the other. I also know people who are going to make the choice I wouldn't. The sad part, to me, is that I think we share many common feelings and desires, and I wish we could unite around them, rather than be divided by them (which has happened on purpose). I share your exhaustion and distress. So grateful to be connected with people across the country who feel the same. It lightens the load of it.
Thanks for sharing that piece. Palestine genocide has taken the blinders off for me. I knew things our system was failing, but that flipped the switch. It made it hard to do daily activities because all I could think about was how people were being murdered every day, but I chose to bear witness and am working to educate myself on the history of Palestine, read stories that educate and bring humanity into the picture. I have actually followed much of the advice in the article which has helped. I was thinking about two books: The Land of Permanent Goodbyes in which a teen refugee reflects on how life was fine and happy until it wasn’t and how fast that happened. The other book is I Must Betray You about Romania and how they lived and fought back an oppressive regime. Also, I recommend the show Andor. In the end, it will be the people taking things back and building the community/world we want. This country wasn’t founded my the majority of us as most of us were oppressed. I love Gen Z and feel like staying in teaching despite everything has kept me connected to our youth and they give me hope and help
to enlighten and inspire me. I can’t in good conscience tell them the system will work as we were told. As Gen Xer I am taking on the role of a protective elder. It will take a unified effort and we have to reconnect as community like the article stated. So many thoughts, so I will stop for now. Take care friend!
I love your thoughts and miss having chances to hear them. I've been wondering how everything of the past two years (or so) has been impacting your work. Not sure if you clicked on the link in the footnote or are already familiar with critical hope, but it provides a way past the "work hard and everything will be good" ethos that we were raised with and that Gen Z largely rejects as false. I love the idea of being a protective elder! I am so glad for the kids of our community that they have a school librarian and they have you. And thank you for the book recommendations. I picked up I Must Betray You a while back in a bookstore and meant to request it from the library (have loved all of Sepetys's other books), but it slipped away from me. Now on hold! As is The Land of Permanent Goodbyes (which I remember ordering for my libraries). Your note is making me miss the good parts of working in/for school libraries. It's been so hard to see what has been happening for all of you still in them. Take care! I hope this summer is restorative for you.
I am 72 years of age. My children are 42 and 44, I have two grandsons and a great grandson. My husband died 13 months ago. I am in such psychical pain that I cannot separate my unconscious self from my conscious self. Reality from a dream. I remember sitting at home watching the 2016 election unfold, sobbing in disbelief. I marched with thousands of other women on our state capitol, wearing pink pussy hats. I organized, I taught others, and attended conventions and startup political events. Now I am tired. I am alone in my current place and time, my children and grandsons are ostriches who don’t see what is happening. I will read your list over and over again. I will try to find the strength to keep up the struggle, and grasp that thing called hope.
I am so sorry you are in such a painful place, both physically and emotionally. Physical pain colors everything else; when I am in it (I have frequent migraines), nothing matters but the pain. And you are carrying so much emotional weight, too. I really recommend reading Oluo's entire essay; the first part is grim, but the actions she suggests (more than I shared) are, I think, a pathway to hope and to finding a way to be OK with what you can do now, given what is and isn't manageable for you in your current condition. Tricia, in her comment above, mentions wanting to be a "protective elder" for the students in her school, and I love that idea. It helps me see that there are all kinds of ways to be of value to others. As I'm aging, I'm realizing that I can't contribute in ways I once did, and I'm having to find new ways to feel purpose. I am trying not to struggle, but to embrace new ways of being. I'm a work in progress, though! Many days are challenging. Please take care. You deserve comfort and relief from pain. We all do.
Hi Rita! Thanks for recommending Ijeoma Oluo’s “How We Get Through This,” I don’t know that I would have found it otherwise. I love her practical but hopeful approach to reality but most of all I really appreciate a good list of concrete steps to take. It often seems I read about our world and then just start spinning off into anxiety with no way of thinking constructively.
I have also always assumed that people (other people apparently) would step up and stop things from happening, whether it’s getting far right leaning politicians elected, or taking away the rights of women, or concentrating power into fewer and fewer hands. Surely people would stop those things?! My naïveté is rather touching but I still find myself thinking “that can’t happen,” even as it is blindingly clear it CAN and has. Our ancestors must be frankly infuriated by us and our inability to learn from their experiences.
I think so many of us have been (still are) where you are. I think we were very lucky to have lived so long in a time and place where that kind of naïveté could grow and flourish and survive. I no longer beat myself up about it, but consider myself lucky to have had it for as long as I did. It was nice. Now, I'm appreciating learning from people such as Oluo, who have much to teach me about how to live in the world as I now understand it. It's feeling so much better than spinning in anxiety.
As for ancestors, I have a very vivid memory of a conversation with my grandfather in the late 70's. He was not formally educated, but he read widely and talked often with me about history and literature. I remember a conversation about the Roman Empire, and he said that the United States was an empire in decline. He told me that our fall wouldn't happen in his lifetime, but it very well could happen in mine. He said it was already happening, but most people couldn't see it. I dismissed that (mostly); he was a conservative person who thought the youth movements of the 60's and 70's were wrong. I didn't. I would so love to be able to talk with him about what we're living through now. His parents were German immigrants, and he hated what Hitler did in Germany. I think he would be horrified by what's happening in the US and in other European countries now.
Rita, this is an insightful and honest essay that resonates deeply for me. I haven't yet made time to read Oluo's piece, and I will, but I'm grateful for your summary. It means so much to me to know who, in my community, is willing to see possibility, even in the midst of all the craziness. I totally believe that hope (and yes, CRITICAL hope) is something we can all cultivate. It's what I rely on to survive the confusion and disillusion of our times. If I let myself, I can fall all the way in to the pit of despair. To keep going, I have to figure out where I can find joy, or purpose, and who I can connect with to remind me that existence is bigger than the noise that overpowers so many of the world's sweetest songs. Yes! Grow carrots and sugar snap peas (they're *gorgeous* by the way!). Be in community when you can. Do things that are accessible. I'm unlikely to run for office. I'm not a person who can have any sort of direct influence on the activities that trouble me most right now. But I can read Rootsie and feel less alone.
A related aside, I find myself lagging behind on most all of my Substack reading right now, and it really bothers me -- when I subscribe to someone, I take on a level of commitment to actually read and try to support the publication. When I can't do that, it tells me that I need to let something go. I need to think carefully about that, but I know this: Rootsie stays.
Your words, and the connections our words are building, mean so much to me. I've been all the way in that pit of despair. I think I'm deciding that's not where I want to be. I did a dive into critical hope last fall, in the context of work I was doing with/for a staff of high school teachers, and that was the beginning of climbing out. I'm so with you on finding joy, purpose, and connection with others in the ways that I can. Like you, I'm not running for office. I'm not even working in education anymore. But I'm still alive, still a human in the world, and there are better and lesser ways of being one. It feels good to let go of what might have been some hubris.
I relate to your words about newsletter/blog reading. Sometimes life just gets too much in the way, and I can't read when/as much as I want to. I'm giving myself permission to catch up when/as I can, hoping that those I read/follow will understand and welcome my presence when I can give it. I hope you know that I feel that way about you and other readers. Your comment brightened my morning and increased my sense of purpose in writing here. There's no expiration date on that kind of thing!
Rita amazing words. I like how Scott Galloway frames. The ‘reality sandwich’. And how we move forward. Central to all the machinations is thirst for power not aspiring to form a better union but a collective of small seemingly incidental decisions and choices that now have our nation careening. Substack is a blessing. Most of media has woefully lost their way and best be ignored. With their incessant horse racing and lack of context depth or perspective. If we focus on protecting our republic and moving forward. Give Scott a read see if it doesn’t make sense. https://www.profgalloway.com/time-to-leave/
I SO needed to read these words. This is real. This is happening. But I’m not alone.
We aren't alone! So grateful to have you alongside me. All of our connections matter.
What a balm for the day, Rita. I am also mourning but also nursing the smart of having been manipulated- not only have our political rivals played the long game, they’ve figured out how to play us against ourselves, use our rule following, empathy, and outrage as weapons that weaken us as their rivals. But, they still make us the humans I want to live among. And if we can focus on those one to one interactions you describe we may remember that is a strength, not a weakness.
I hope we never lose our empathy and outrage, for all of us. I'm working on focusing both on the right things. I have room for growth (always), and I'm wondering right now how I might look back on this post 6 years from now and cringe at what I'm not understanding or seeing. But yes, I think how we relate to and connect with each other one-to-one is so important. I think it's a kind of power available to all of us.
Thanks for all of this! 💜
Thank you for "talking" with me!
💜💜💜
I agree that things will be getting worse as we get closer to the election and even after it regardless of who wins. I'm exhausted just wondering how I could possibly know anyone who'd vote for authoritarianism, yet I realize that I know these people personally and am stuck with them. When politics shift from rational thought to emotional opinions then there's no way for me to talk with, let alone influence, people who do what they *feel* is right. It's distressing, to say the least.
I think events of the past week show us that the election isn't going to be--can't be--a cure-all. AND STILL, one choice is sure to be so much more damaging, to so many people, than the other. I also know people who are going to make the choice I wouldn't. The sad part, to me, is that I think we share many common feelings and desires, and I wish we could unite around them, rather than be divided by them (which has happened on purpose). I share your exhaustion and distress. So grateful to be connected with people across the country who feel the same. It lightens the load of it.
Thanks for sharing that piece. Palestine genocide has taken the blinders off for me. I knew things our system was failing, but that flipped the switch. It made it hard to do daily activities because all I could think about was how people were being murdered every day, but I chose to bear witness and am working to educate myself on the history of Palestine, read stories that educate and bring humanity into the picture. I have actually followed much of the advice in the article which has helped. I was thinking about two books: The Land of Permanent Goodbyes in which a teen refugee reflects on how life was fine and happy until it wasn’t and how fast that happened. The other book is I Must Betray You about Romania and how they lived and fought back an oppressive regime. Also, I recommend the show Andor. In the end, it will be the people taking things back and building the community/world we want. This country wasn’t founded my the majority of us as most of us were oppressed. I love Gen Z and feel like staying in teaching despite everything has kept me connected to our youth and they give me hope and help
to enlighten and inspire me. I can’t in good conscience tell them the system will work as we were told. As Gen Xer I am taking on the role of a protective elder. It will take a unified effort and we have to reconnect as community like the article stated. So many thoughts, so I will stop for now. Take care friend!
I love your thoughts and miss having chances to hear them. I've been wondering how everything of the past two years (or so) has been impacting your work. Not sure if you clicked on the link in the footnote or are already familiar with critical hope, but it provides a way past the "work hard and everything will be good" ethos that we were raised with and that Gen Z largely rejects as false. I love the idea of being a protective elder! I am so glad for the kids of our community that they have a school librarian and they have you. And thank you for the book recommendations. I picked up I Must Betray You a while back in a bookstore and meant to request it from the library (have loved all of Sepetys's other books), but it slipped away from me. Now on hold! As is The Land of Permanent Goodbyes (which I remember ordering for my libraries). Your note is making me miss the good parts of working in/for school libraries. It's been so hard to see what has been happening for all of you still in them. Take care! I hope this summer is restorative for you.
I am 72 years of age. My children are 42 and 44, I have two grandsons and a great grandson. My husband died 13 months ago. I am in such psychical pain that I cannot separate my unconscious self from my conscious self. Reality from a dream. I remember sitting at home watching the 2016 election unfold, sobbing in disbelief. I marched with thousands of other women on our state capitol, wearing pink pussy hats. I organized, I taught others, and attended conventions and startup political events. Now I am tired. I am alone in my current place and time, my children and grandsons are ostriches who don’t see what is happening. I will read your list over and over again. I will try to find the strength to keep up the struggle, and grasp that thing called hope.
I am so sorry you are in such a painful place, both physically and emotionally. Physical pain colors everything else; when I am in it (I have frequent migraines), nothing matters but the pain. And you are carrying so much emotional weight, too. I really recommend reading Oluo's entire essay; the first part is grim, but the actions she suggests (more than I shared) are, I think, a pathway to hope and to finding a way to be OK with what you can do now, given what is and isn't manageable for you in your current condition. Tricia, in her comment above, mentions wanting to be a "protective elder" for the students in her school, and I love that idea. It helps me see that there are all kinds of ways to be of value to others. As I'm aging, I'm realizing that I can't contribute in ways I once did, and I'm having to find new ways to feel purpose. I am trying not to struggle, but to embrace new ways of being. I'm a work in progress, though! Many days are challenging. Please take care. You deserve comfort and relief from pain. We all do.
Hi Rita! Thanks for recommending Ijeoma Oluo’s “How We Get Through This,” I don’t know that I would have found it otherwise. I love her practical but hopeful approach to reality but most of all I really appreciate a good list of concrete steps to take. It often seems I read about our world and then just start spinning off into anxiety with no way of thinking constructively.
I have also always assumed that people (other people apparently) would step up and stop things from happening, whether it’s getting far right leaning politicians elected, or taking away the rights of women, or concentrating power into fewer and fewer hands. Surely people would stop those things?! My naïveté is rather touching but I still find myself thinking “that can’t happen,” even as it is blindingly clear it CAN and has. Our ancestors must be frankly infuriated by us and our inability to learn from their experiences.
I think so many of us have been (still are) where you are. I think we were very lucky to have lived so long in a time and place where that kind of naïveté could grow and flourish and survive. I no longer beat myself up about it, but consider myself lucky to have had it for as long as I did. It was nice. Now, I'm appreciating learning from people such as Oluo, who have much to teach me about how to live in the world as I now understand it. It's feeling so much better than spinning in anxiety.
As for ancestors, I have a very vivid memory of a conversation with my grandfather in the late 70's. He was not formally educated, but he read widely and talked often with me about history and literature. I remember a conversation about the Roman Empire, and he said that the United States was an empire in decline. He told me that our fall wouldn't happen in his lifetime, but it very well could happen in mine. He said it was already happening, but most people couldn't see it. I dismissed that (mostly); he was a conservative person who thought the youth movements of the 60's and 70's were wrong. I didn't. I would so love to be able to talk with him about what we're living through now. His parents were German immigrants, and he hated what Hitler did in Germany. I think he would be horrified by what's happening in the US and in other European countries now.
Rita, this is an insightful and honest essay that resonates deeply for me. I haven't yet made time to read Oluo's piece, and I will, but I'm grateful for your summary. It means so much to me to know who, in my community, is willing to see possibility, even in the midst of all the craziness. I totally believe that hope (and yes, CRITICAL hope) is something we can all cultivate. It's what I rely on to survive the confusion and disillusion of our times. If I let myself, I can fall all the way in to the pit of despair. To keep going, I have to figure out where I can find joy, or purpose, and who I can connect with to remind me that existence is bigger than the noise that overpowers so many of the world's sweetest songs. Yes! Grow carrots and sugar snap peas (they're *gorgeous* by the way!). Be in community when you can. Do things that are accessible. I'm unlikely to run for office. I'm not a person who can have any sort of direct influence on the activities that trouble me most right now. But I can read Rootsie and feel less alone.
A related aside, I find myself lagging behind on most all of my Substack reading right now, and it really bothers me -- when I subscribe to someone, I take on a level of commitment to actually read and try to support the publication. When I can't do that, it tells me that I need to let something go. I need to think carefully about that, but I know this: Rootsie stays.
Your words, and the connections our words are building, mean so much to me. I've been all the way in that pit of despair. I think I'm deciding that's not where I want to be. I did a dive into critical hope last fall, in the context of work I was doing with/for a staff of high school teachers, and that was the beginning of climbing out. I'm so with you on finding joy, purpose, and connection with others in the ways that I can. Like you, I'm not running for office. I'm not even working in education anymore. But I'm still alive, still a human in the world, and there are better and lesser ways of being one. It feels good to let go of what might have been some hubris.
I relate to your words about newsletter/blog reading. Sometimes life just gets too much in the way, and I can't read when/as much as I want to. I'm giving myself permission to catch up when/as I can, hoping that those I read/follow will understand and welcome my presence when I can give it. I hope you know that I feel that way about you and other readers. Your comment brightened my morning and increased my sense of purpose in writing here. There's no expiration date on that kind of thing!
Circles of influence...!
Thank you for this, Rita. It's a moving essay, and I appreciate you and your words.
Thank you so much for being here, Sue.
Rita amazing words. I like how Scott Galloway frames. The ‘reality sandwich’. And how we move forward. Central to all the machinations is thirst for power not aspiring to form a better union but a collective of small seemingly incidental decisions and choices that now have our nation careening. Substack is a blessing. Most of media has woefully lost their way and best be ignored. With their incessant horse racing and lack of context depth or perspective. If we focus on protecting our republic and moving forward. Give Scott a read see if it doesn’t make sense. https://www.profgalloway.com/time-to-leave/