I unfriended quite a few people about year ago, and made generous use of the unfollow button on a few dozen who I couldn't quite get away with unfriending (relatives, local friend-of-a-friend situations, etc.), but whose daily appearance in my feed I found, to be perfectly honest, fucking exhausting. It helped a lot. While I like your attitude about "we don't have strong ties, peace out," I'm evaluating this again because of current affairs in terms of safety, preserving my peace, and not giving certain mindsets room on my feed. Do more people need to go? Probably. Do I wish I had a platform that allowed my online community easy access to each other without the junkiness of FB and other social media? Absolutely yes.
I used unfollow in the past, but I realized that it wasn't enough for me. Even though I unfollowed them, it meant they still had access to what I posted--and I realized I want to post things I maybe don't want them to see. Safety was key for me; emotional safety, primarily, which I decided is as important as any other kind. That last sentence: So much yes. I'm trying to make the best of what's easily available. I know there are other things out there, but none that are all that much better, and I can't transplant all my peeps (like you and your friends, who I really enjoy/value) with me.
"As I’ve become more careful about what I bring and let into my life, I try to choose those that fit who I really am and the life I really live, as opposed to what I might like to aspire to."
This really resonated with me, Rita. Facebook wasn't something I ever enjoyed using (I had an account but rarely logged on or posted), and about a year ago I deleted my account (entirely, I hope, if such a thing is possible with FB!). Instagram felt a bit better to me, but it soon became clear that the accounts that the algorithm was feeding me, and which I obligingly followed thinking they would inspire me, were actually having the opposite effect—they were making me feel like I was a useless and unproductive person. I unfollowed all those, which did make me feel somewhat better, but then a friend succeeded in an area I was struggling, and, well, I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't delete my account, but I haven't gone on in at least six months, and my days are easier to get through when I'm not being constantly triggered. I do miss some things—my daughter would post the most amazing photos, and she always wrote such clever stuff to go with them, but she knows I'm no longer going on IG and she shares the photos with me a different way.
I don't have much optimism when it comes to social media and the tech bros, but I understand that since I never invested too much of myself into their platforms, it's been relatively easy to leave, to "take a stand" by refusing to participate.
I hate the algorithms, I have to say. And I've for-sure had times when seeing things other post make me feel the opposite of how I'd like to feel; when that starts to happen, I take a break. So I understand everything you've said here. My daughter is the main reason I still have and use Instagram; I love seeing the photos she shares of her life there. There are also two geographically-distant folks who post a lot and that's the only place our lives overlap, and I really enjoy what they post, so... I'm with you in not feeling much optimism, but I want to see if I can get them to work for me, for as long as it might. I do miss 2010 social media, though.
Perfect timing on this article! A few weeks ago, I went through my FB friends list and unfriended a lot of people - all for the same reasons you listed. I'm also taking a FB hiatus. I don't miss it. The only reason I even stay on FB is to keep in touch with a few people (like you mentioned) and I belong to a few groups there that aren't on any other platform.
I unfollowed several people a little over 4 years ago when I couldn’t take any more politics that were so unfounded. I haven’t had nearly as much this election. I’m not sure why. I consider closing Facebook every now and again. I don’t post as much as I used to, even of our travels. I enjoy the memories. The anniversaries of travels, of being with friends and family, of seeing grandchildren grow up.
Many of my friends no longer post. It’s one of the only ways I keep in touch with a few of my cousins. I’d hate to lose that connection since we don’t do family reunions any longer now that our parents are no longer with us and we all have our own families. It’s our generation that now gathers for memorial services.
So less posting, more memories, enjoy seeing friends and family activities, and I have enough recipes! Staying for awhile longer.
Yes, the memories are another good reason to stay! I'd like to post more things that I will enjoy looking back at in the future. Glad for the glimpses of your life that I get to see there.
I left FB years ago, like a decade ago. I've not missed it and hear nothing good about it. I'm on Threads which is owned by Meta, but so much mellower. I like it because almost all the people I engage with I don't know in real life. It seems freeing and fun just to bounce around on a social media platform with no goals, or obligations, in mind.
I see Threads as an alternative to Twitter/X, and Twitter never was my thing, even before it devolved. I know a lot of writers are moving to Bluesky for that kind of interaction. Substack has a Notes feature, which is more like that, and I read there but hardly ever post. I'm not so interested in seeing people's personal stuff there (because I don't know them, mostly), but I really appreciate when they share good things they've read. We'll see how it goes. Facebook might be beyond redeeming for me, but I feel like giving it a good try.
I'll be vulnerable and say that I am really struggling with this idea in general. I fully support your choice and even understand why you made it. I may even admit that part of me wants to do the same. However, as much as I want to protect my peace, I also do not want to create further division. I don't know how to get people to come together again and certainly not how to find common
I am so sorry you're struggling. I think my way of struggling with my inability to bridge divides was to pull back. Pulling back seemed to turn into pulling back from everyone, though. I'm definitely not in a place of saying I'm not going to have anything to do with people on the other side of our divide. Some of them are family, and some of them are people I need to get along with. I think I'm looking for more nuance than all or nothing ways of being. Some people are worth doing what I need to do to stay in relationship because of the nature of our relationship. Some aren't because we were never that close. Even with those who are, I might draw my boundaries in some different places. (Like, I'll interact in person, but not on Facebook.) One thing that's helping me be in a better place with it all is releasing myself from any kind of responsibility for bridging the divide. If someone on the other side wants to engage with me in a mutual way around that, I will for sure try. If they don't, that's OK. What I do want to do is strengthen my ties with those who are living in the same reality I am. I want us to share information, and joy, and struggle, to help us stay grounded and OK.
Although I don’t spend much time on FB anymore, for the reasons you mention plus the horrible bot-men, I have made some important relationships there with generous, gifted people I will never meet face to face. I workshopped a book on FB, and the ongoing encouragement kept me going. (Of course I could do this on Substack too.) I belong to a memoir group there that has supported me and thousands of others. I feel more at home on Substack but FB is useful in its complicated fashion.
Yes! I have also met generous, gifted people there, and those are the connections I don't want to give up. Substack feels a bit different to me, at least so far. It is complicated. I suppose fewer connections there is one way of making it less complicated.
This is a refreshing experiment and sounds like it is paying dividends. I turned away from Facebook hard in November 2016 and haven't looked back. Instagram gets less and less of my attention. I'm enjoying Notes but only looking at people I am following so I can catch up quickly and move on to other things like making, creating, doing, cleaning, phone calls with friends, FT with my mom, etc! I became a paid subscriber to Seth Werkheiser's Social Media Escape Club and that has helped reinforce my intention almost constantly to do more in the real world, make real connections in my new community, get my work out into the analog world rather than being at the mercy of the algorithm.
Thank you for pointing me to Seth Werkheiser--I did a quick drop in to his newsletter/site, and plan to do a little more digging. I am for-sure also in the camp of doing more making, creating, doing (maybe not so much cleaning? 🙂). I mostly check in on social media in two situations: At the end of the day when my brain/body are too tired to do much of anything else; and when I'm waiting for something (water to boil, an appointment to start, etc.) and don't have a book with me. I'm working on having a book with me more often!
Yay for books! I read while I wait for my daughter to go to sleep (sitting outside her door) - it would be so easy to scroll mindlessly, but instead I'm soaking up some literature. It feels like a great parenting hack/win for my brain. I also love crossword puzzles while waiting for appointments (or on long plane rides) too. BUT there is a time and a place for scrolling instagram looking for funny golden retriever videos and then sending them to Tom just so we can watch them together late at night. I don't however put any stock in Instagram as a growth vector for my work as a photographer, it's a waste of time for this, and my time is much better used making photographs or writing and developing ideas for the newsletter.
p.s. Cleaning is awful but I try to pair it with something I do like, like catching up with my friend who lives in CA - we talk once a week while I'm cleaning the bathroom if you can believe it!
If I had a business, social media would not be part of my strategy. That's why it's only for personal connection for me. (We used to have weiner dogs, and I send my kids SO MANY weiner dog reels!) My cleaning treat is audiobooks--pairing house chores with an activity you like is such a great hack. Solidarity on waiting for a daughter to go to sleep. I remember those days. I usually fell asleep too! Then I'd have to wake up and do lesson prepping before I could go to bed. Those were looong days. But I miss that girl I once had.
Sounds like I need to explore some weiner dog reels!! Audiobooks while cleaning is a great idea... I find it so hard to do work after my daughter goes to sleep, sometimes I have to of course but it goes against all instincts, like my brain is still in sync with hers and I should be asleep too.
I love the idea of quality over quantity in terms of relationships, too. The day after the election was a watershed moment for me because I realized I’d been softening myself in my space on FB to keep anyone who might see my posts from feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t like that about myself— it felt cowardly to choose my discomfort with confrontation over speaking my truth. It felt like capitulation. Also, I realized if anyone still in my space there did not share my views on certain human rights issues concerning my child then we were not friends. There are fewer things I can “ agree to disagree “ over. Which mayo is better? Ok, fine. Whether or not my child gets the same human rights as others? Nope. In the past I would have spent lots of angst and worry but the lines seem much much clearer now, as does who I want to spend my precious time on and with.
Right with you on this: "I realized I’d been softening myself in my space on FB to keep anyone who might see my posts from feeling uncomfortable." I know there are places, issues, and relationships for which this is probably a good approach. When I was younger, my political beliefs were much different from those of one set of grandparents. We had an unspoken agreement to avoid politics in our discussions, and it allowed us to remain close in important ways. But our differences were truly political back then; some things that some label "politics" now are things I label "human rights," which means we aren't even having the same conversation. And that requires a different stance for me, too. Thank you for reminding me of why some of my lines are hard. I'm glad to be your friend, Emily.
I had to flush it all down the toilet for a number of reasons....my limited dopamine supply did not appreciate being jerked around, I was looking up people I should fully let go, I was wasting tons of time scrolling when I procrastinated on adulting. I truly do not miss any part of it.
This is such a wise post. Thanks to algorithms, it’s easy to forget that we’re the ones in charge of our online spaces. They should be curated with as much care as our physical surroundings. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks! I realized that just by going through my friend list and clicking on the profiles of some to see what they'd been posting, I'd changed the algorithm. Plan to do this periodically, especially for the ones I haven't seen anything from. Another way to curate, I think.
You stated this so well. I think you've been inside my head. I have thought the same toward on-line friendships. I have only a few connections I care to keep on FB so have not left the platform. I'm not into other sites except very recently Substack. Most of what I read here is much more calming. Hopefully now after election it will chill out again. I enjoy the writers and not the whiners. I don't need the ticktock or other videos. Pet & Nature photos are welcome daydreams. 😊
I'm still finding my way with Substack. Sometimes I love Notes--because the people I follow share great writing--but sometimes it feels too...something I don't like, even if I don't have the right words for it yet. The great thing about all of it is that no one is forcing us to do anything, right? I'm with you on hoping for chill. Trying not to create unnecessary heat myself. 🙂
I don't think there is a wrong way to do what you're doing, Rita, which is to make your interactions more fulfilling and authentic. "Fewer, better things" is an approach worth applying to much of our decision-making, imo.
It may seem an odd comparison, but years ago, when my [then new] hubby and I moved aboard our sailboat, he sold boxes and boxes of books. Some of them had been in his life for a long time, and I asked if he was sure he was okay with letting them go. "Sure," he said. "If I miss one of them in the future, I'll be able to find it again."
It's been years since I interacted on Facebook like I feel many do. My engagement there is mostly intentional. I did take a little spin, unsuccessfully, to see if I could find and friend you, as a little humorous response to this post. 😅 I'm there because I manage several accounts for work and volunteer commitments, so I check up on those pages and try to keep them current. I have a private group of friends I connect with a few times a week, a holdover from our homeschooling days. And I enjoy seeing updates from people I know here and there. The rest of it. Meh. Same for Instagram.
As you know, I'm holding out hope for bridge building. But if something is on fire, we've got to either extinguish it, or let it burn itself out, before we venture back in. So, hat tip to you on that.
I hold out hope for bridge building, too. But it's hard when the bridge is on fire, isn't it? I was able to find you on Facebook, but I saw no option to add you as a friend. That got me to go look at my settings; I saw that I had a button activated that would allow friend requests only from friends of friends. I changed that, so if you'd still like to be friends, hit me up! It hsould work now. (Wondering if you've got the same setting in place?) Some of my best FB friends are those I've connected with through writing.
ha, I unfriended everyone the first time around, in 2016, and have engaged in a steady culling over the years. I keep FB for communicating with my older aunties, and my town FB page is very useful. I also get targeted ads for romance novels on Amazon that I actually use quite a bit, haha. But my FB use is limited to these uses only--I've muted/unfriended just about everyone else on that platform.
I get the most enjoyment out of Instagram, and have multiple accounts for different topics (friends, learning languages, cooking and gym content).
I am on Snapchat but only follow my kids--we share a photo every day. My kids' friends all added me when I first joined, but a while back I snapped a picture of my new leg tattoo to my son....except I sent it to one of his friends accidentally instead bc I am blind and fumble-fingered. A 50 year old woman sending pictures of her naked leg to a 15 year boy is totally not creepy at all. So I deleted everyone off that app but my kids.
I used to be terminally online with Twitter but then when it was bought out I enjoyed it less and less and it really gave me existential dread, so I stopped for about two years. I picked it back up the day Biden dropped out (I followed mostly political commentators, scientists and economists.) I moved over to Blue Sky but still pop in to Twitter...but I think both sites are making me feel depressed. Being well informed on the upcoming apocalypse isn't helping my mental health.
This year's xmas card spreadsheet also just got pruned dramatically today. Bwahaha.
I unfriended quite a few people about year ago, and made generous use of the unfollow button on a few dozen who I couldn't quite get away with unfriending (relatives, local friend-of-a-friend situations, etc.), but whose daily appearance in my feed I found, to be perfectly honest, fucking exhausting. It helped a lot. While I like your attitude about "we don't have strong ties, peace out," I'm evaluating this again because of current affairs in terms of safety, preserving my peace, and not giving certain mindsets room on my feed. Do more people need to go? Probably. Do I wish I had a platform that allowed my online community easy access to each other without the junkiness of FB and other social media? Absolutely yes.
I used unfollow in the past, but I realized that it wasn't enough for me. Even though I unfollowed them, it meant they still had access to what I posted--and I realized I want to post things I maybe don't want them to see. Safety was key for me; emotional safety, primarily, which I decided is as important as any other kind. That last sentence: So much yes. I'm trying to make the best of what's easily available. I know there are other things out there, but none that are all that much better, and I can't transplant all my peeps (like you and your friends, who I really enjoy/value) with me.
"As I’ve become more careful about what I bring and let into my life, I try to choose those that fit who I really am and the life I really live, as opposed to what I might like to aspire to."
This really resonated with me, Rita. Facebook wasn't something I ever enjoyed using (I had an account but rarely logged on or posted), and about a year ago I deleted my account (entirely, I hope, if such a thing is possible with FB!). Instagram felt a bit better to me, but it soon became clear that the accounts that the algorithm was feeding me, and which I obligingly followed thinking they would inspire me, were actually having the opposite effect—they were making me feel like I was a useless and unproductive person. I unfollowed all those, which did make me feel somewhat better, but then a friend succeeded in an area I was struggling, and, well, I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't delete my account, but I haven't gone on in at least six months, and my days are easier to get through when I'm not being constantly triggered. I do miss some things—my daughter would post the most amazing photos, and she always wrote such clever stuff to go with them, but she knows I'm no longer going on IG and she shares the photos with me a different way.
I don't have much optimism when it comes to social media and the tech bros, but I understand that since I never invested too much of myself into their platforms, it's been relatively easy to leave, to "take a stand" by refusing to participate.
I hate the algorithms, I have to say. And I've for-sure had times when seeing things other post make me feel the opposite of how I'd like to feel; when that starts to happen, I take a break. So I understand everything you've said here. My daughter is the main reason I still have and use Instagram; I love seeing the photos she shares of her life there. There are also two geographically-distant folks who post a lot and that's the only place our lives overlap, and I really enjoy what they post, so... I'm with you in not feeling much optimism, but I want to see if I can get them to work for me, for as long as it might. I do miss 2010 social media, though.
Perfect timing on this article! A few weeks ago, I went through my FB friends list and unfriended a lot of people - all for the same reasons you listed. I'm also taking a FB hiatus. I don't miss it. The only reason I even stay on FB is to keep in touch with a few people (like you mentioned) and I belong to a few groups there that aren't on any other platform.
Yep to all of this 🙂 I learned today (while doing an image search for this post) that Nov. 17 was actually "Unfriend Day." So, I guess I'm not so original 😂 https://www.voice7news.tv/public/entertainment/news/12104
I unfollowed several people a little over 4 years ago when I couldn’t take any more politics that were so unfounded. I haven’t had nearly as much this election. I’m not sure why. I consider closing Facebook every now and again. I don’t post as much as I used to, even of our travels. I enjoy the memories. The anniversaries of travels, of being with friends and family, of seeing grandchildren grow up.
Many of my friends no longer post. It’s one of the only ways I keep in touch with a few of my cousins. I’d hate to lose that connection since we don’t do family reunions any longer now that our parents are no longer with us and we all have our own families. It’s our generation that now gathers for memorial services.
So less posting, more memories, enjoy seeing friends and family activities, and I have enough recipes! Staying for awhile longer.
Yes, the memories are another good reason to stay! I'd like to post more things that I will enjoy looking back at in the future. Glad for the glimpses of your life that I get to see there.
I left FB years ago, like a decade ago. I've not missed it and hear nothing good about it. I'm on Threads which is owned by Meta, but so much mellower. I like it because almost all the people I engage with I don't know in real life. It seems freeing and fun just to bounce around on a social media platform with no goals, or obligations, in mind.
I see Threads as an alternative to Twitter/X, and Twitter never was my thing, even before it devolved. I know a lot of writers are moving to Bluesky for that kind of interaction. Substack has a Notes feature, which is more like that, and I read there but hardly ever post. I'm not so interested in seeing people's personal stuff there (because I don't know them, mostly), but I really appreciate when they share good things they've read. We'll see how it goes. Facebook might be beyond redeeming for me, but I feel like giving it a good try.
I'll be vulnerable and say that I am really struggling with this idea in general. I fully support your choice and even understand why you made it. I may even admit that part of me wants to do the same. However, as much as I want to protect my peace, I also do not want to create further division. I don't know how to get people to come together again and certainly not how to find common
ground. I. Am. Struggling.
I am so sorry you're struggling. I think my way of struggling with my inability to bridge divides was to pull back. Pulling back seemed to turn into pulling back from everyone, though. I'm definitely not in a place of saying I'm not going to have anything to do with people on the other side of our divide. Some of them are family, and some of them are people I need to get along with. I think I'm looking for more nuance than all or nothing ways of being. Some people are worth doing what I need to do to stay in relationship because of the nature of our relationship. Some aren't because we were never that close. Even with those who are, I might draw my boundaries in some different places. (Like, I'll interact in person, but not on Facebook.) One thing that's helping me be in a better place with it all is releasing myself from any kind of responsibility for bridging the divide. If someone on the other side wants to engage with me in a mutual way around that, I will for sure try. If they don't, that's OK. What I do want to do is strengthen my ties with those who are living in the same reality I am. I want us to share information, and joy, and struggle, to help us stay grounded and OK.
I hear this, Beth. Hugs.
Although I don’t spend much time on FB anymore, for the reasons you mention plus the horrible bot-men, I have made some important relationships there with generous, gifted people I will never meet face to face. I workshopped a book on FB, and the ongoing encouragement kept me going. (Of course I could do this on Substack too.) I belong to a memoir group there that has supported me and thousands of others. I feel more at home on Substack but FB is useful in its complicated fashion.
Yes! I have also met generous, gifted people there, and those are the connections I don't want to give up. Substack feels a bit different to me, at least so far. It is complicated. I suppose fewer connections there is one way of making it less complicated.
This is a refreshing experiment and sounds like it is paying dividends. I turned away from Facebook hard in November 2016 and haven't looked back. Instagram gets less and less of my attention. I'm enjoying Notes but only looking at people I am following so I can catch up quickly and move on to other things like making, creating, doing, cleaning, phone calls with friends, FT with my mom, etc! I became a paid subscriber to Seth Werkheiser's Social Media Escape Club and that has helped reinforce my intention almost constantly to do more in the real world, make real connections in my new community, get my work out into the analog world rather than being at the mercy of the algorithm.
Thank you for pointing me to Seth Werkheiser--I did a quick drop in to his newsletter/site, and plan to do a little more digging. I am for-sure also in the camp of doing more making, creating, doing (maybe not so much cleaning? 🙂). I mostly check in on social media in two situations: At the end of the day when my brain/body are too tired to do much of anything else; and when I'm waiting for something (water to boil, an appointment to start, etc.) and don't have a book with me. I'm working on having a book with me more often!
Yay for books! I read while I wait for my daughter to go to sleep (sitting outside her door) - it would be so easy to scroll mindlessly, but instead I'm soaking up some literature. It feels like a great parenting hack/win for my brain. I also love crossword puzzles while waiting for appointments (or on long plane rides) too. BUT there is a time and a place for scrolling instagram looking for funny golden retriever videos and then sending them to Tom just so we can watch them together late at night. I don't however put any stock in Instagram as a growth vector for my work as a photographer, it's a waste of time for this, and my time is much better used making photographs or writing and developing ideas for the newsletter.
p.s. Cleaning is awful but I try to pair it with something I do like, like catching up with my friend who lives in CA - we talk once a week while I'm cleaning the bathroom if you can believe it!
If I had a business, social media would not be part of my strategy. That's why it's only for personal connection for me. (We used to have weiner dogs, and I send my kids SO MANY weiner dog reels!) My cleaning treat is audiobooks--pairing house chores with an activity you like is such a great hack. Solidarity on waiting for a daughter to go to sleep. I remember those days. I usually fell asleep too! Then I'd have to wake up and do lesson prepping before I could go to bed. Those were looong days. But I miss that girl I once had.
Sounds like I need to explore some weiner dog reels!! Audiobooks while cleaning is a great idea... I find it so hard to do work after my daughter goes to sleep, sometimes I have to of course but it goes against all instincts, like my brain is still in sync with hers and I should be asleep too.
I love the idea of quality over quantity in terms of relationships, too. The day after the election was a watershed moment for me because I realized I’d been softening myself in my space on FB to keep anyone who might see my posts from feeling uncomfortable. I didn’t like that about myself— it felt cowardly to choose my discomfort with confrontation over speaking my truth. It felt like capitulation. Also, I realized if anyone still in my space there did not share my views on certain human rights issues concerning my child then we were not friends. There are fewer things I can “ agree to disagree “ over. Which mayo is better? Ok, fine. Whether or not my child gets the same human rights as others? Nope. In the past I would have spent lots of angst and worry but the lines seem much much clearer now, as does who I want to spend my precious time on and with.
Right with you on this: "I realized I’d been softening myself in my space on FB to keep anyone who might see my posts from feeling uncomfortable." I know there are places, issues, and relationships for which this is probably a good approach. When I was younger, my political beliefs were much different from those of one set of grandparents. We had an unspoken agreement to avoid politics in our discussions, and it allowed us to remain close in important ways. But our differences were truly political back then; some things that some label "politics" now are things I label "human rights," which means we aren't even having the same conversation. And that requires a different stance for me, too. Thank you for reminding me of why some of my lines are hard. I'm glad to be your friend, Emily.
So grateful for your friendship, Rita
Back at ya
I had to flush it all down the toilet for a number of reasons....my limited dopamine supply did not appreciate being jerked around, I was looking up people I should fully let go, I was wasting tons of time scrolling when I procrastinated on adulting. I truly do not miss any part of it.
I totally understand this response, too. I like to think it gives you more time to write, which I selfishly appreciate!
This is such a wise post. Thanks to algorithms, it’s easy to forget that we’re the ones in charge of our online spaces. They should be curated with as much care as our physical surroundings. Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks! I realized that just by going through my friend list and clicking on the profiles of some to see what they'd been posting, I'd changed the algorithm. Plan to do this periodically, especially for the ones I haven't seen anything from. Another way to curate, I think.
Good for you. I don't miss it at all. Four years and counting...
I thought of you when I was writing this!
Wowser!
You stated this so well. I think you've been inside my head. I have thought the same toward on-line friendships. I have only a few connections I care to keep on FB so have not left the platform. I'm not into other sites except very recently Substack. Most of what I read here is much more calming. Hopefully now after election it will chill out again. I enjoy the writers and not the whiners. I don't need the ticktock or other videos. Pet & Nature photos are welcome daydreams. 😊
I'm still finding my way with Substack. Sometimes I love Notes--because the people I follow share great writing--but sometimes it feels too...something I don't like, even if I don't have the right words for it yet. The great thing about all of it is that no one is forcing us to do anything, right? I'm with you on hoping for chill. Trying not to create unnecessary heat myself. 🙂
I don't think there is a wrong way to do what you're doing, Rita, which is to make your interactions more fulfilling and authentic. "Fewer, better things" is an approach worth applying to much of our decision-making, imo.
It may seem an odd comparison, but years ago, when my [then new] hubby and I moved aboard our sailboat, he sold boxes and boxes of books. Some of them had been in his life for a long time, and I asked if he was sure he was okay with letting them go. "Sure," he said. "If I miss one of them in the future, I'll be able to find it again."
It's been years since I interacted on Facebook like I feel many do. My engagement there is mostly intentional. I did take a little spin, unsuccessfully, to see if I could find and friend you, as a little humorous response to this post. 😅 I'm there because I manage several accounts for work and volunteer commitments, so I check up on those pages and try to keep them current. I have a private group of friends I connect with a few times a week, a holdover from our homeschooling days. And I enjoy seeing updates from people I know here and there. The rest of it. Meh. Same for Instagram.
As you know, I'm holding out hope for bridge building. But if something is on fire, we've got to either extinguish it, or let it burn itself out, before we venture back in. So, hat tip to you on that.
I hold out hope for bridge building, too. But it's hard when the bridge is on fire, isn't it? I was able to find you on Facebook, but I saw no option to add you as a friend. That got me to go look at my settings; I saw that I had a button activated that would allow friend requests only from friends of friends. I changed that, so if you'd still like to be friends, hit me up! It hsould work now. (Wondering if you've got the same setting in place?) Some of my best FB friends are those I've connected with through writing.
ha, I unfriended everyone the first time around, in 2016, and have engaged in a steady culling over the years. I keep FB for communicating with my older aunties, and my town FB page is very useful. I also get targeted ads for romance novels on Amazon that I actually use quite a bit, haha. But my FB use is limited to these uses only--I've muted/unfriended just about everyone else on that platform.
I get the most enjoyment out of Instagram, and have multiple accounts for different topics (friends, learning languages, cooking and gym content).
I am on Snapchat but only follow my kids--we share a photo every day. My kids' friends all added me when I first joined, but a while back I snapped a picture of my new leg tattoo to my son....except I sent it to one of his friends accidentally instead bc I am blind and fumble-fingered. A 50 year old woman sending pictures of her naked leg to a 15 year boy is totally not creepy at all. So I deleted everyone off that app but my kids.
I used to be terminally online with Twitter but then when it was bought out I enjoyed it less and less and it really gave me existential dread, so I stopped for about two years. I picked it back up the day Biden dropped out (I followed mostly political commentators, scientists and economists.) I moved over to Blue Sky but still pop in to Twitter...but I think both sites are making me feel depressed. Being well informed on the upcoming apocalypse isn't helping my mental health.
This year's xmas card spreadsheet also just got pruned dramatically today. Bwahaha.